ok so it has been awhile, I am back. I had surgery on July 2 and I am still healing. Yesterday I went to my PCP for a check up and he gave me a new prescription for thyroid, a higher one. Finally getting that on track, he says I should feel better and even lose weight.
Joe has been counting points this whole time and really being supportive of me so that is awesome. I cannot wait to get back to work so I can get back to exercising and a more steady schedule. I also want to be able to afford to buy us a treadmill. Getting to the gym when it is 110 degrees is just not something I do very well.
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Friday, June 21, 2013
Thyroid
ok so I went to the gyno today to get my exam done. I have been doing all sorts of exams and tests lately because I just got insurance after getting married. I have severe carpal tunnel and ever since I first went to the doctor for that they sent me to get a primary care physician and then he has been sending me to get all these tests done. The main thing I went for was thyroid and it is up. I thought it was slightly up since my PCP did not make a big deal about it, he just gave me some medication and told me to come back in a month for a check up. Well today my gyno said that my thyroid is way out of control, I think he said Impressive. LOL It was 51.1 or so and normal range is .3-3.0
. YIKES. If fixing this will help me lose weight and get my body back in shape that would be very niiiice. Also, looks like it may be the reason I cannot get pregnant.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Support
So I finally explained to my husband that I need his support. Before I could even finish my thought on the subject he told me that he wanted to join weight watchers with me so that he could lose weight and to support me. Yay. I still explained to him that I need him to just be there for me in my decisions and to not make fun of my diet any more. Yes he used to make fun of counting points, as if eating in moderation is something I have ever done with success in my entire life. But yesterday he was asking me about points and asking for my help in how many he has left, etc. I am glad that he wants to eat better because that guy can put away some food. Also, I do not want him staying on a path to bad health. I would absolutely love to have a partner in this ridiculously hard journey. My next step is getting him to work out with me. ;p
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Tuesday's titillation
Getting started and me before getting redefined
Getting started is like the hardest part for me. I think that is because I just keep putting it off until the next day or until it's not so hot outside or until I feel better. Well I think that since I live in the desert it is just gonna be hot all summer, that excuse wont work. I wont feel better til I do get started, so that excuse wont work either. I should probably state what it is that I am talking about starting. Well I am talking about starting with my weight loss journey, my new way of eating and exercising.
For so long I have been the overweight outcast, or at least that is how I felt and how I let it be. I think that I was afraid that if I lost weight I would still feel angry at the world and angry at my appearance. Basically I feel like I would be let down at the results, like eating whatever I want would be more rewarding than all the benefits of being thinner. If this is not terrible enough I was about 50 pounds lighter and then I met my husband and he kept saying to me that he wanted me to gain more weight. I think partly trying to enforce the fact that he would love me no matter what, was his main goal. Really what happened is now I am afraid that if I do become skinny then he wont want me. It is so contradictory because I feel like if I get any more obese than the same outcome would arise. It really is not about what he wants though because that will not motivate me to lose weight. His approval for me to gain weight only made it easier to gain because I was already headed in that direction.
I have been on again off again at my weight loss for almost all my life. In high school I did the herbal life diet and while it worked I was starving all the time and well it obviously did not last. I think the most influential thing back then was the fact that I was outside all the time and so it off set the terrible eating habits that I started back then. When my boyfriend from then left me I went into a depression that lasted about 5 years. During that time I ate, and I ate a lot. I also did not exercise hardly at all. I gained about 70 pounds. I lost about 50 of it back in 2011 after I had my galbladder removed. Then my husband comes along and I have been on again off again with the same amount of weight ever since. I lose it then binge for a few weeks then lose it again. YIKES! I am so over that trap. I am in total over 100 pounds overweight. I think that losing that much would be great and also scary at the same time.
Recently I went to the doctor and just as I knew he would say, I have to lose weight. He tries to tell me no carbs, less salt, just eat healthy, oh and exercise. Duh! Ok so I cant do the no carb thing, I do not live alone, I would go crazy and rip out my hair within the first day, and then binge. He also mentioned weight watchers, which I have been on for like 3 years with just about no success of keeping the weight off but kept it around for the day when determination finally kicked in. Luckily when I had my blood work done there was no diabetes. I am still going through testing and for now it is just a thyroid issue, which could help with weight loss. So each day as I wake up I have my doctor kicking my behind about losing this weight loss and some days I do not care and some days I do care. I am going to try to start for real today.
My goal is to lose 2 pounds a week. My biggest goal is to weigh 150 and then figure out from there how I feel about that weight and try to maybe lose more or not, not sure yet. At that rate it would take me 18 months to get where I want. Of course that would mean a perfect 8 pounds a month. That is the healthiest way to lose weight and I think it would be my only option. Along with that I would like to be running 3 miles a day at some time. At 255 pounds and only 5'2 running is not really too much of an option but I have started to walk/slow jog and that puts me at about a 20 minute mile. The doctor asked me for 1 mile a day and that is what I am working towards, at least, but some days I just do not want to get up at 7am and after that it turns into 100 degrees outside with a blaring sun. UGH!
For so long I have been the overweight outcast, or at least that is how I felt and how I let it be. I think that I was afraid that if I lost weight I would still feel angry at the world and angry at my appearance. Basically I feel like I would be let down at the results, like eating whatever I want would be more rewarding than all the benefits of being thinner. If this is not terrible enough I was about 50 pounds lighter and then I met my husband and he kept saying to me that he wanted me to gain more weight. I think partly trying to enforce the fact that he would love me no matter what, was his main goal. Really what happened is now I am afraid that if I do become skinny then he wont want me. It is so contradictory because I feel like if I get any more obese than the same outcome would arise. It really is not about what he wants though because that will not motivate me to lose weight. His approval for me to gain weight only made it easier to gain because I was already headed in that direction.
I have been on again off again at my weight loss for almost all my life. In high school I did the herbal life diet and while it worked I was starving all the time and well it obviously did not last. I think the most influential thing back then was the fact that I was outside all the time and so it off set the terrible eating habits that I started back then. When my boyfriend from then left me I went into a depression that lasted about 5 years. During that time I ate, and I ate a lot. I also did not exercise hardly at all. I gained about 70 pounds. I lost about 50 of it back in 2011 after I had my galbladder removed. Then my husband comes along and I have been on again off again with the same amount of weight ever since. I lose it then binge for a few weeks then lose it again. YIKES! I am so over that trap. I am in total over 100 pounds overweight. I think that losing that much would be great and also scary at the same time.
Recently I went to the doctor and just as I knew he would say, I have to lose weight. He tries to tell me no carbs, less salt, just eat healthy, oh and exercise. Duh! Ok so I cant do the no carb thing, I do not live alone, I would go crazy and rip out my hair within the first day, and then binge. He also mentioned weight watchers, which I have been on for like 3 years with just about no success of keeping the weight off but kept it around for the day when determination finally kicked in. Luckily when I had my blood work done there was no diabetes. I am still going through testing and for now it is just a thyroid issue, which could help with weight loss. So each day as I wake up I have my doctor kicking my behind about losing this weight loss and some days I do not care and some days I do care. I am going to try to start for real today.
My goal is to lose 2 pounds a week. My biggest goal is to weigh 150 and then figure out from there how I feel about that weight and try to maybe lose more or not, not sure yet. At that rate it would take me 18 months to get where I want. Of course that would mean a perfect 8 pounds a month. That is the healthiest way to lose weight and I think it would be my only option. Along with that I would like to be running 3 miles a day at some time. At 255 pounds and only 5'2 running is not really too much of an option but I have started to walk/slow jog and that puts me at about a 20 minute mile. The doctor asked me for 1 mile a day and that is what I am working towards, at least, but some days I just do not want to get up at 7am and after that it turns into 100 degrees outside with a blaring sun. UGH!
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